Bed Rest and Blessings

I am dealing with some mild OHSS; I'm still sore and (extremely) bloated. It doesn't feel natural to "know" where my ovaries are :)  I spoke with the RN at the office today who told me to take an extra day on minimal activity... so today I've, once again, done nothing :) But I have definitely improved from how I felt Saturday and even yesterday.

The transfer went very well! They transferred 2 and were able to freeze the remaining 8!!!

The day of the transfer I had to lay flat on my back with my legs elevated for 4 hours without getting up to even use the bathroom! It was pretty much the worst. I was achey and restless and sick of laying down after only a few hours.

But then I'd look at my picture... the picture Dr. D gave me of one of our beautiful, perfect embryos, and was reminded why I'm doing this. That beautiful baby... our perfect 3 cell embryo... that's why I'm laying here. No matter how much I want to get up and clean or cook; no matter how helpless I feel; no matter how sore my back is or how restless my legs are; Those embryos are worth it!!

We are so blessed! The medications worked without complication; they were able to retrieve 18 eggs; all 10 that could be fertilized, did fertilize; we were able to transfer 2 and freeze 8!!  Whether or not this cycle of IVF results in pregnancy, we are blessed because this process works for us! There are many people who have extensive complications from meds and procedures, who get only a few eggs, who are unable to freeze any embryos.

We know there are no guarantees, there's no absolutes, but there is hope and that is what we hold on to.

B&B

The Numbers Are In

Retrieval yesterday morning went well. No complications, and so far, no signs of OHSS!

I was pretty groggy most of yesterday from the anesthesia... in fact when I got home Bob made me some toast for breakfast and I definitely fell asleep with a bite in my mouth for a good 45 min! I was also very sore and uncomfortable, but am doing significantly better today.

We were told to arrive at 6:15am for procedure at 6:45am. The nurse... well... she wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, but everything worked out fine.

And now, for the real reason you're reading this post... My numbers.

I heard from the doctors office at 9:30am today... approximately 27 hours after retrieval.

18 eggs were retrieved!

7 were immature (so unable to fertilize)

1 was degenerative (old, so also unable to fertilize)

They attempted to fertilize the remaining 10 using ICSI. Of those........

ALL 10 FERTILIZED!!!!!!!!!!!

100% success in fertilization using ICSI!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't ask grades or anything, because it doesn't matter... all 10 eggs that could fertilize did! That's unheard of!!

We are over the moon right now! While we know that this doesn't mean all 10 will last indefinitely, they've all made it at least 24 hours! With ICSI, they fertilize approximately 2 hours after retrieval, so they've all made it since 8:45 yesterday morning!

As Bob said, we now have 10 babies! Can you believe it!?

Transfer is tomorrow morning at 9:00am. I'll have to stay at the office in the "head down reclining position" for about 1-2 hours and then once I get home, I need to be flat on my back with my legs elevated for the first 4 hours. Then its bed rest the next 48 hours. So lots of TV and movie watching for this girl! Hopefully I can convince Bob to move the big TV into our bedroom for the next few days :)

Thank you all for your prayers! We have so much to be thankful for right now!

B&B

Final Update before Retrieval!

Sorry for the gap in updates, we're still working on getting the Internet figured out.

Ok, where did I leave off... oh yeah!

So I went back in on Monday morning and everything looked "perfect!" My lining was at 15.5mm! I asked if it was ok that it hadn't changed much in the last few days, and was told that since it was so thick on Saturday, they hadn't expected it to be any thicker, but it still got .5 mm thicker, so that's a nice plus :)

As of Monday had 10 follicles definitely mature (between 16-20), 2 follicles between 14-15, and another 6-8 that were less than 8.

Estradial from Saturday was 1594 and as of Monday it was 3590.

I was sent home without talking to the nurse because they needed to have Dr. D review everything to determine if I was going to trigger Monday or Tuesday.  The nurse called me Monday afternoon and said Dr. D wanted to me to continue the Lupron and Gonal-f for one more night and trigger Tuesday. He did, however, drop my dose of the Gonal-f to 150 units for the last injection.

As if it was even possible, I woke up this morning feeling more bloated than ever! I've resolved to only wearing pj pants, sweatpants, and yoga pants and didn't even bother trying to squeeze into my jeans this morning. I've also been feeling a little nauseous... I don't know if its the meds, the nerves, or the fact that my ovaries are so enlarged that my stomach is being shoved back up my throat.. (gross, I know).

My wonderful friend Beth just gave me my trigger injection... it was far less painful than I thought it would be!

I'm scheduled for my retrieval on Thursday, October 11th at 6:45am, and have to be there at 6:15 for anesthesia prep. I am so NOT excited to have to be there so early, but I am ready for this to be done!

Friday morning I'm supposed to be getting a call from either the nurse or the embryologist to let me know the status of our embryos (how many were retrieved, how many fertilized, how many are actively maturing, etc...) and to schedule me for the transfer, which will happen sometime on Saturday.

Then comes the worst part... waiting.

For the first time during this IVF process, I'm beginning to feel fearful. Fearful that something will go wrong; that none of the eggs will fertilize; that none will make it to freeze. And most of all, fearful that it won't work. And then where will be at? We certainly can't afford to do this again anytime soon... How will we handle the emotional strain of a failed IVF?

We know that God is in control; and I've been reminded over and over this week that He has me right where He wants me and that there's a reason He has us right here right now. We may never know the "why's" of our circumstances... at least not in this life.... but we hold on to the thing He's given us... Hope.

B&B

Right on Track

Ultrasound this morning showed lining at 15mm!!

Still around 12 follicles actively maturing; ranging in size from 11.5-16.5 with another 6-7 follicles at 8mm or less.

I go back in on Monday morning, and depending on where I'm at, I may trigger Monday night; otherwise, if Dr. D wants me to give it one more day, I'll trigger on Tuesday as originally planned.

Still sore and bloated and its getting worse every day. You know how usually if you wear the same pair of jeans twice, they've stretched out by the second time... nope, not for me! All mine are just getting more and more snug.

I went to Target yesterday to pick up a prescription and buy more PreNatal vitamins and the girl at the checkout counter kept stealing glimpses of my stomach... I think she was trying to decide if I looked pregnant or just fat.... wrong! Its just my IVF bloat!

Now there's 12!

I went in early this morning for my ultrasound and bloodwork. I won't know the results of my labs until later this afternoon, or possibly even Saturday, but as of Tuesday my estradial was 197 (which is good).

Today the RN found 12 follicles that are actively growing... she kind of implied that I had more that that total, but that those are the ones that are maturing on track. The smallest is 9.5 mm and the largest 11.5mm! Right where they're supposed to be! And my lining is at 9.5mm! The nurse was very excited that they're all maturing at the same rate.

As of right now, I'm to continue on .05ml of Lupron, and 225 units of Gonal-F.

All of this is very good to hear... but there's part of me that's incredibly disappointed. Most of the stories I've heard and blogs I follow the people end up with 15-25 follicles being retrieved... and here we are at only 12. I just have to keep reminding myself that it only takes 1!

I'm also pretty uncomfortable today. It's like I can feel how full and heavy my ovaries are. I'm sore, swollen, bloated, and tired. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to button my jeans; they're pretty snug today! I can't imagine how uncomfortable I'm going to be by next week...Good thing its a rainy day so I don't feel so bad about watching movies all day.

Based on today's ultrasound, we're looking at tentative retrieval next week Thursday, with transfer the following Saturday. I have to go back in this Saturday and next week Monday. The RN was optimistic that I'd be done with meds after Monday night... well, done with Gonal-f and Lupron... next comes "the big one" the IM trigger injection (so not excited about that one!)

Unfortunately, that also means that we have to pay another $830 for the additional meds...

Money is incredibly tight for us right now, so we'd appreciate your continued prayers on that front as well. Between moving, bills, meds, IVF, and anesthesia, we're having to watch our spending like never before. We trust that God will take care of us, but could use an extra dose of peace on that front.

Thank you all for your continued prayers and words of encouragement! We can't tell you how much it means to us to have your love and support as we go through this journey!

B&B

Ultrasound Update

Just wanted to do a quick update on my ultrasound this morning.

Dr. D's office likes lining to be a minimum of 7-8 at the time of transfer, and mine is already at 7.5! Which is "excellent" according to the nurse. She didn't give me the total number of follicles that I have, but I have 10 that are maturing "beautifully!" They're all between 9-11! To be considered mature, they should be at least 15 at the time of retrieval so we are well on our way!

I have to continue 225 IU of Gonal-f (yuck!) unless I get a call later this afternoon telling me otherwise (they won't get my lab results back untilthis afternoon so may need to adjust accordingly).

Emotionally, still pretty up and down, We had some serious issues with the leasing office at our old apartment complex yesterday; I think the hormones worked to my advantage at that point because I was both incredibly stubborn and angry and was literally sobbing on the phone! It all worked out though.

As a friend reminded me yesterday, there are times when God brings us to our absolute lowest to remind us how much we need Him. I think that's what He's doing with Bob and I right now. We have a lot on our plates and feel that we're facing a new obstacle at every corner, but with each new challenge, brings a new opportunity to trust Him!

Life on a Rollercoaster

I feel as though the last few weeks I've been on a rollercoaster. Moving went surprisingly smooth. We had tons of help from our wonderful family and friends and now have everything moved! We are loving having all the space; I especially love having a basement to store all my extra... stuff in. :) We don't have internet set up at the house, I'm currently at the neighbors, so updates may be far and few in between for the next few weeks.

We are also LOVING living so close to our friends! Its amazing being able to walk down the street to their house. Evie is still confused... she's convinced she's supposed to be living in the "new house," as she calls it and even refers to the toy room as "Evie's bedroom" :)

IVF:

Not going as great. I was doing pretty well on the Lupron, started having some hot flashes and more mood swings towards the end of last week. Last week Tuesday I went in for my screening ultrasound to make sure I didn't have any ovarian cysts and to see how many antral follicles I had. No cysts, and I had 24 follicles starting!  They did tell me to think of this process like a NASCAR race... some will fall behind and disappear, others will suddenly catch up at the end.

I started my Menopur and Gonal-f on Thursday of last week... that was an experience. The nurse said she'd write down the dosages for me and when I went to give the Menopur, after reconstituting it, I saw that she wrote down to give "1." One what?? 1 unit? 1 mL? 1 vial? Since I had 2ml's of medication, I started to panic because that seemed like an awful lot to give into my stomach. I ended up calling the oncall Dr (because I was told if I ever had a question, even just a question about meds, to call) and ended up with a doctor who had no idea how to help me.

We finally figured it out and I gave myself the injection... man did that one hurt!! Glad that was only for 2 days!! I was also on a very low dose of Gonal-f because Dr. D was worried about OHSS.

I had my second ultrasound Saturday morning... down to 13 follicles :( I got a call later in the day saying that my estrodial was WAY too low and I needed to triple my dose of Gonal-f for the next three days. (which would explain why my period lasted 14 days!!).

Now that my meds have been tripled, I feel completely out of control... a feeling I DO NOT like! One second I'm crying, the next second I want to punch something... or someone. I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster all day and no one, including me, knows what's coming next!

My amazing, incredible boss and friend was more gracious than I could ever deserve and gave me the month off! I cannot express my gratitude enough!! Its such a relief to have that taken off my plate while we go through this IVF.

I have another ultrasound tomorrow morning, if I get a chance I'll update on what happens.

For now, thank you all for your prayers, understanding and grace, I know I haven't been very fun to be around, and it will probably get worse before it gets better.