We've Made Our Decision

Well, actually, God made it for us.

As I eluded to previously, we weren't certain if we should proceed immediately with IVF or wait until January, mostly because of busy we're going to be over the next few months. I think we have at least one trip every month between now and Christmas (our first one is only a few weeks away!!).

After much discussion, Bob and I decided to pray specifically that if we were supposed to move forward immediately, the timing would work perfectly, and if we're supposed to wait, the door would be completely closed. When it came down to the dates, we figured out that I'd need to get my period at least 2 days late, but not more than 6 days late in order to be able to proceed.

Friday marked day 29 of my cycle (making me 1 day late for my almost always 28 day cycle). I woke up with terrible cramps, bloating, and spotting. I was disappointed, but also had a sense of peace. I think we'd been planning all along that it wouldn't work out and we'd just have to wait until January. And I was finally at a place where I was able to enjoy life where we are. I'm loving getting to spend all this time with my nieces and work is keeping me busy. Bob and I have freedom that couples with kids don't get. We were finally at a point of being ok with waiting; and while disappointed that we wouldn't be moving forward, we were also a little relieved that we'd have more time to save money and take life a little slower.

Oops.... there we go again! Thinking that we're in control and that our timing is better than God's....

I didn't officially start my period until 12:18am Saturday morning. Which was cycle day 30, making me 2 days late.

Guess the door wasn't closed like we thought it was.

Believe it or not, we weren't excited at all! We, in our selfish, sinful nature, said, "Wait a second God. We were all set to wait. We had a plan. We were going to take the next few months slow. We were going to enjoy all these vacations with out any worries of conception or pregnancies. We (or rather I) was going to loose all this extra weight I've gained from the hormones, not start new hormones!"

Can you believe it? We asked for a specific sign. A way to know for sure what we should do in regards to timing. We said, "close the door for this month if You want us to wait." And when He left the door WIDE open, we still doubted. We still questioned, and we were still overwhelmed with fear.

After more discussing and more praying, we finally came to realize this very obvious fact. That God did answer our prayers. This doesn't mean that we are 100% positive this IVF will end in a pregnancy; we know God could still say no to a baby right now, but it does mean that we're 100% certain we're supposed to move forward with an IVF right now.

I called the Dr's office this morning. We both had all our screening and base line labs done (they sucked 7 vials of blood from me this morning!) and scheduled the mock embyro transfer for this week Wednesday. After that, we don't do anything else until cycle day 21, when I start injections :/
Which also happens to be the day after we get back from Florida (what a fabulous welcome home present!)

Thank you to all of you who've been praying for us. We ask for your continued prayers to calm any anxiety we have over moving forward. That we'd have peace with this decision; that the fear and worry over the money wouldn't consume or deter us from moving forward. That the side effects from medications won't be unbearable. That our marriage would remain strong; that we'd be a constant source of love and encouragement for one another. Prayer for success for this IVF, and for peace if God's will is different. And as always, that God's will would be done in all of this and that He'd use us to further His kingdom.

B&B