(Sorry, this will probably be another long post...)
I want to thank each and every person who's read our blog. B and I have been so blessed by the number of messages and comments we've received and have felt more peace about where we are at; we can truly feel your prayers.
One of the most amazing things happened since starting this blog; I've had at least 4 different women contact me saying that they're going through the same thing and each of them thanked me for my blog... I never thought this would be something anyone would thank me for... All of these women have been faced with the same questions and comments as us; they've been secretly hurting and every month, every day, every moment they feel that a piece of them is missing. It breaks my heart to know that other couples are suffering through this as well; but at the same time, it's incredibly encouraging to know that we're not alone and that there are other couples who actually understand how we're feeling.
This isn't where I saw my life at this point in time. I thought I'd be 6 months pregnant by now and getting ready for my summer baby to be born. But it isn't up to me. This isn't where I'd ever choose to be. But if God's plan for us right now is to be used as a source of encouragement, then so be it. I don't have to be happy about this; but I can choose to be joyful.
I remember as a kid listening to Adventures in Odyssey, I absolutely loved it! One of the stories I've always remembered is based on the passage James 1:2-4, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you're faced with trials and temptations. For the testing of your faith develops perseverance and perseverance must finish its work so you may be mature and complete. Not lacking anything."
The idea in this particular episode of Adventures in Odyssey is that the main character learns there's a difference between happiness and joy. I read once that joy is the God-given, overwhemling confidence that all is well, despite your circumstances. Joy is to know that even if nothing changed about my circumstances and life continued on just like this, that life on this earth isn't the "end" of the story.
I'm far from "happy" about where my life is at right now. This isn't what I envisioned for my future, I'm still going to get upset, I'm going to cry, I'm going to be disappointed, and I'm going to question "why me?"
But I know Who holds my future and I have joy in that. I'm going to choose to rejoice and praise Him who has chosen to use me as a source of encouragement to others.
I had a rough night tonight. I had a great dinner with an old friend and on the way home, this song came on and I lost it. I sat in my car sobbing for almost 30min. (You listen and tell me if it doesn't make you cry) Until all of the lyrics sunk in.... "I will praise the One who's chosen me..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLuaGiu73jc
We have been truly blessed by each of you and are in awe of your encouragement and love and we greatly appreciate your comments and support!
B&B
That song does hit the heart. You are an encouragement to others for being open.
ReplyDeleteHi B. I like the way you write, express yourself, and blogging is a great way to process what you're going through, and help others process their own pain and grief. What you're writing here reminds me of how I felt about being single for more years than I'd hoped to be. His plan and timing was not mine - but it was definitely good (for many reasons). Blessings to you on this journey. Janet Z.
ReplyDelete