The next two weeks are going to be pretty busy at our house.
Thursday, April 3 - HSG
Monday, April 7 - Ultrasound
Wednesday, April 9 - Consult with Dr. D
And sometime before all of those happen we need to do the SA and bloodwork.
The other bummer, is that all three of those things are happening before 8:00 in the morning! And I am so not a morning person! Oh well, at least they were able to get me in quickly.
When I got AF this month I thought I'd be ready for it. I knew it was coming, but when I did, I felt more devastated than any other month. I was hoping we'd be pregnant and could avoid the tests and procedures; and when I got AF I felt like that was it. We'd never be able to get pregnant on our own.
I realize that this isn't necessarily true, but it certainly feels like it. As excited and anxious as I am to be moving forward, I'm devastated that we weren't able to do it our own. As usual, I'm a mix of emotions from both ends of the spectrum.
To top it all off, we had to prepay for the HSG and we completely forgot to go to the seminar to get our voucher for the free appointment. Now we're out more than $600 and we haven't even had any testing yet. I realize that babies are expensive, but seriously... Anyone out there who was able to conceive naturally, do not complain to me about how expensive your child/children are. You are talking to the wrong person! I'm not even pregnant and the bills are adding up.
On a happier note, our "nieces" are coming to stay the night tonight! They are 2 and 7 months; and they've stolen our hearts! We are so excited to spend the next two days with them!
B&B
Friday, April 27, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
The Appointment We've Been Waiting For
Bob and I are both feeling very overwhelmed after our appointment. The Dr. and staff were very kind and friendly, but it's a lot of information to take in (and it was way to early in the morning for us!)
When we first arrived, we met with one of the residents to do a full health history on both of us. After our history was taken, we were taken to Dr. D's office to go over the "results" and his recommendations. He said, based on the fact that we're both healthy and have no known underlying issues, there are three possible causes for us having issues getting pregnant: 1) poor egg quality 2) Low sperm count/poor sperm motility, or 3) blockage/deformity of fallopian tubes. He's confident that there's no issue with actual ovulation, as I've tracked that previously.
So, pretty much, no answers, but at least we now have a direction. Here's what the next 1-3 weeks look like for us:
1) Bloodwork to check prolactin and TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone).
2) SA (Semen Analysis).
3) HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) - basically, this is an x-ray that uses dye to look at the uterus and fallopian tubes to make sure there's no obstruction. This will happen sometime between cycle days 5-10. And yes, it will probably hurt like the dickens! I need to be on an antibiotic and pain meds prior to going in.
4) Ultrasound - This will happen on cycle day 13 or 14 to make sure that my eggs are developing normally and to establish "normal" ovulation.
5) Consultation to review all test results and determine the best course of treatment.
It was overwhelming to be told the amount of tests we have to do in the next week or two, but I'm glad that they're willing to move quickly. I was also relieved that they didn't once question the fact that we want to move forward with testing. So many people (doctors included) have told us to "just relax" or that we "haven't been trying long enough." And, while neither of us want there to be a problem, I'm glad to know Dr. D agreed that there's probablay an issue.
The next problem to tackle the cost of all of these tests. Unfortunately, based on the research I've done so far, our insurance doesn't cover the cost of any fertility treatments. The appointment today was $240; thankfully they offer a voucher for a free first appointment if you attend their free seminar. So, we haven't had to pay anything yet. But it's looking this the tests alone are going to cause our bank account to dwindle.
1) SA - $150
2) HSG - $400-$700
3) Ultrasound - average $500
It's possible that some of the proceedures will be covered, depending on diagnosis used. We have to continue to look into the costs, but we'd certainly appreciate prayers in this particular aread. We don't want to become consumed with the money, but it's definitely a concern.
Thank you to each and everyone of you that has commented, facebooked, emailed and left messages of encouragement. It's so encouraging to know that our family and friends are praying for us and are walking through this with us.
We'll continue to keep you updated as things progress.
B&B
When we first arrived, we met with one of the residents to do a full health history on both of us. After our history was taken, we were taken to Dr. D's office to go over the "results" and his recommendations. He said, based on the fact that we're both healthy and have no known underlying issues, there are three possible causes for us having issues getting pregnant: 1) poor egg quality 2) Low sperm count/poor sperm motility, or 3) blockage/deformity of fallopian tubes. He's confident that there's no issue with actual ovulation, as I've tracked that previously.
So, pretty much, no answers, but at least we now have a direction. Here's what the next 1-3 weeks look like for us:
1) Bloodwork to check prolactin and TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone).
2) SA (Semen Analysis).
3) HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) - basically, this is an x-ray that uses dye to look at the uterus and fallopian tubes to make sure there's no obstruction. This will happen sometime between cycle days 5-10. And yes, it will probably hurt like the dickens! I need to be on an antibiotic and pain meds prior to going in.
4) Ultrasound - This will happen on cycle day 13 or 14 to make sure that my eggs are developing normally and to establish "normal" ovulation.
5) Consultation to review all test results and determine the best course of treatment.
It was overwhelming to be told the amount of tests we have to do in the next week or two, but I'm glad that they're willing to move quickly. I was also relieved that they didn't once question the fact that we want to move forward with testing. So many people (doctors included) have told us to "just relax" or that we "haven't been trying long enough." And, while neither of us want there to be a problem, I'm glad to know Dr. D agreed that there's probablay an issue.
The next problem to tackle the cost of all of these tests. Unfortunately, based on the research I've done so far, our insurance doesn't cover the cost of any fertility treatments. The appointment today was $240; thankfully they offer a voucher for a free first appointment if you attend their free seminar. So, we haven't had to pay anything yet. But it's looking this the tests alone are going to cause our bank account to dwindle.
1) SA - $150
2) HSG - $400-$700
3) Ultrasound - average $500
It's possible that some of the proceedures will be covered, depending on diagnosis used. We have to continue to look into the costs, but we'd certainly appreciate prayers in this particular aread. We don't want to become consumed with the money, but it's definitely a concern.
Thank you to each and everyone of you that has commented, facebooked, emailed and left messages of encouragement. It's so encouraging to know that our family and friends are praying for us and are walking through this with us.
We'll continue to keep you updated as things progress.
B&B
Friday, April 13, 2012
One Week
Well, our appointment is one week away. Right now I'm feeling a mix of fear and excitement.
I'm anxious to move to the next step of starting our family; what that means... I have no idea. From the research I've done, the first appointment with the RE is a really long review of our health history. I think they also order testing, but I'm not sure. The not knowing what to expect adds to my fear of going.
Right now I'm truly just a big pile of mixed emotions. Part of me hopes they find "something" to explain why we're not getting pregnant; not because I want there to be a problem, but because I've found the worst thing about any health issue is when the doctor looks at you and says, "I don't know why."
On the other hand, it'd be really nice if the doctor said, "everything is perfectly normal." It'd be nice to know we haven't been trying for the last 7 1/2 months only to find out that we never would have been able to get pregnant on our own.
Ideally, we'll walk in, they'll do some initially testing and say, "you don't need to be here, you're already pregnant!" (Not likely!)
B and I have been in this together, 100% since we started ttc. I know he wants a baby as much as I do; but yesterday, for the first time, he looked at me, with tears in his eyes and said, "I really just want to be a daddy."
It almost broke my heart. It made me happy to know that he wants to raise a child with me. But what if I can't give him that?
this next part I say with all respect; Please don't ask or say anything about adoption.
Adoption is an incredible thing! I have no opposition to it whatsoever, and the parents who do it are amazing. But, Bob and I are not there yet. In all honesty, I want my own baby. A baby with Bob's blue/green eyes, and my dimples. Adoption is a process. Not just in the sense of the amount of preparation, money, and paperwork. But, especially for people who are having trouble conceiving, it is part of a process of grief. In order for Bob and I to move towards adoption, we'd have to mourn and grieve the possibility of having our own child. We'd have to be willing to move beyond that longing and change our focus. If we do adopt someday, I know we would love that child just as if I'd carried him/her in my womb. But we're just not there yet.
I hope this doesn't offend anyone. That certainly isn't my intention, and I don't mean to be insensitive. But when I tell people we're having difficulty conceiving, they often respond with, "well, couldn't you just adopt?" And while their intentions are good, it hurts. Adoption should never be a "just." I believe it's a calling. Something God calls you to do as a parent. And we don't feel that calling; at least not yet.
I'm anxious to move to the next step of starting our family; what that means... I have no idea. From the research I've done, the first appointment with the RE is a really long review of our health history. I think they also order testing, but I'm not sure. The not knowing what to expect adds to my fear of going.
Right now I'm truly just a big pile of mixed emotions. Part of me hopes they find "something" to explain why we're not getting pregnant; not because I want there to be a problem, but because I've found the worst thing about any health issue is when the doctor looks at you and says, "I don't know why."
On the other hand, it'd be really nice if the doctor said, "everything is perfectly normal." It'd be nice to know we haven't been trying for the last 7 1/2 months only to find out that we never would have been able to get pregnant on our own.
Ideally, we'll walk in, they'll do some initially testing and say, "you don't need to be here, you're already pregnant!" (Not likely!)
B and I have been in this together, 100% since we started ttc. I know he wants a baby as much as I do; but yesterday, for the first time, he looked at me, with tears in his eyes and said, "I really just want to be a daddy."
It almost broke my heart. It made me happy to know that he wants to raise a child with me. But what if I can't give him that?
this next part I say with all respect; Please don't ask or say anything about adoption.
Adoption is an incredible thing! I have no opposition to it whatsoever, and the parents who do it are amazing. But, Bob and I are not there yet. In all honesty, I want my own baby. A baby with Bob's blue/green eyes, and my dimples. Adoption is a process. Not just in the sense of the amount of preparation, money, and paperwork. But, especially for people who are having trouble conceiving, it is part of a process of grief. In order for Bob and I to move towards adoption, we'd have to mourn and grieve the possibility of having our own child. We'd have to be willing to move beyond that longing and change our focus. If we do adopt someday, I know we would love that child just as if I'd carried him/her in my womb. But we're just not there yet.
I hope this doesn't offend anyone. That certainly isn't my intention, and I don't mean to be insensitive. But when I tell people we're having difficulty conceiving, they often respond with, "well, couldn't you just adopt?" And while their intentions are good, it hurts. Adoption should never be a "just." I believe it's a calling. Something God calls you to do as a parent. And we don't feel that calling; at least not yet.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Home Again
Going away for a few days was definitely the right decision! It was so nice to get away from the routine and go at a slower pace. We drove down to Michigan City and went shopping and just hung out at the hotel. It was the first time Bob and I have had fun together in a while.
Unfortunately, Bob woke up Saturday morning with the stomach flu (coming out of both ends :( So we headed home early. He was such a champ on the way home. We had to stop 5-6 times for him, but he never complained about it. Saturday, Sunday, and now today have been spent with him on the couch. Thankfully the rest of us haven't gotten sick!
If you've never been to Michigan City, IN, they have a very nice outlet mall! But for those of us that aren't teeny-boppers, spring and summer clothing shopping isn't exactly fun; so Beth and I shopped for our husbands and homes instead :) We also went to the casino on Friday night. (Please don't post comments about how awful casinos are. We chose to spend our entertainment money on a casino instead of a movie, and we don't have an addiction.)
Despite Bob being sick, we came home feeling refreshed and re-energized with a renewed sense of hope. Life doesn't seem quite so terrible. And we were able to enjoy where we are in life. That doesn't stop the yearning and longing for a baby, but it helps to know that even if it never happens, we are incredibly blessed and God has already given us so much. I'm choosing to be thankful for what I do have, instead of resentful over what I don't have.
My wonderful sister-in-law sent me an email recently to encourage me. And she reminded me of how important being thankful is. She said, "Satan likes to keep us spiraling downward in these moments of defeat. He wants us to pity ourselves and feel justified in doing it, but the truth is we really do have more to be thankful for than not. Once we start thanking God, Satan loses his grip. When you feel down, look up. Look into the face of your Savior and thank Him for anything albeit as small as "thank you for my fuzzy socks", whatever comes to mind thank Him for it. Thankfulness is a powerful tool."
So Heavenly Father, thank you for my wonderful husband, my loving family, and my dear friends. Thank you for sunshine and the wild turkey's in my backyard. Thank you for my sweat pants and peanut butter cups. And thank you for being You! For being in control and knowing the bigger picture. For loving me when I'm unlovable and holding my future in the palm of Your hand. Thank You for giving me hope and for carrying me through these trials.
Unfortunately, Bob woke up Saturday morning with the stomach flu (coming out of both ends :( So we headed home early. He was such a champ on the way home. We had to stop 5-6 times for him, but he never complained about it. Saturday, Sunday, and now today have been spent with him on the couch. Thankfully the rest of us haven't gotten sick!
If you've never been to Michigan City, IN, they have a very nice outlet mall! But for those of us that aren't teeny-boppers, spring and summer clothing shopping isn't exactly fun; so Beth and I shopped for our husbands and homes instead :) We also went to the casino on Friday night. (Please don't post comments about how awful casinos are. We chose to spend our entertainment money on a casino instead of a movie, and we don't have an addiction.)
Despite Bob being sick, we came home feeling refreshed and re-energized with a renewed sense of hope. Life doesn't seem quite so terrible. And we were able to enjoy where we are in life. That doesn't stop the yearning and longing for a baby, but it helps to know that even if it never happens, we are incredibly blessed and God has already given us so much. I'm choosing to be thankful for what I do have, instead of resentful over what I don't have.
My wonderful sister-in-law sent me an email recently to encourage me. And she reminded me of how important being thankful is. She said, "Satan likes to keep us spiraling downward in these moments of defeat. He wants us to pity ourselves and feel justified in doing it, but the truth is we really do have more to be thankful for than not. Once we start thanking God, Satan loses his grip. When you feel down, look up. Look into the face of your Savior and thank Him for anything albeit as small as "thank you for my fuzzy socks", whatever comes to mind thank Him for it. Thankfulness is a powerful tool."
So Heavenly Father, thank you for my wonderful husband, my loving family, and my dear friends. Thank you for sunshine and the wild turkey's in my backyard. Thank you for my sweat pants and peanut butter cups. And thank you for being You! For being in control and knowing the bigger picture. For loving me when I'm unlovable and holding my future in the palm of Your hand. Thank You for giving me hope and for carrying me through these trials.
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