I've started this post three times and keep deleting what I write. I don't know what to say.
2 months ago, Bob and I decided to move forward with infertility treatment. In May we did our first IUI. It was a natural cycle, except for a trigger injection to induce ovulation (I was already on day 18 and hadn't ovulated on my own yet). With one beautiful follicle at 22mm the RE, nurses, and us were all hopefull that this would be our first, last and only fertility treatment. BFN. It didn't work. I was on progesterone supplements and after day 45 of my cylce, a negative home pregnancy test, and negative HCG blood test, AF arrived.
Time to start IUI #2.
This time Dr. D had me on Clomid 50mg and I was told that progesterone wasn't necessary because the Clomid would correct the boarderline progesterone levels. When I went in for my mid-cycle ultrasound, they saw that I had 6 follicles! 4 mature, and the other 2 had the potential to be mature by the time I ovulated. (6 is huge! They hope for 2, possibly 3, especially on the lower dose of Clomid). The sperm count was 5 times higher for the second IUI than it was for the first! I had to have counceling to make sure I was aware that we were "at risk for high volume multiples!" and had to have the Dr give the ok to move forward with this number of follicles (which he did). We also did another trigger injection to control the timing of ovulation for the IUI.
We were so hopefully..... If only miracles were based on numbers.
It didn't work. And I just found out.........
We're tired. We're defeated.
I can't do this again.....We don't know what to do.
Im not even going to try to say anything to "make you feel better" because I know words can't do that. This sucks quite honestly. I will however tell you that I will be praying for peace, understanding, and wisdom during this season of your journey. Love you guys and want this so badly for you!
ReplyDeleteI am crying with you in this time of disappointment and despair. Tell God whatever you're thinking, hug each other extra close (or give each other space - whichever is better), and see if you can find some moments of relief from the despair with distraction. Tomorrow is another day and this situation will evolve - I don't know what you should do, but I know you will recover from this gut-punch and move forward again.
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